A blog post on God, cheap flights and disposable income.

Meant to be read after Baecation/Vacation/Anniversary-cation/An excuse to see my man and My Crazy Ass Journey to Korea.

Relationships are work, long distance relationships are harder. In your traditional relationship experience, people learn how to be with each other through quality time. My partner and I have a different type of quality time than most couples. I wish I could sit down and calculate how much time we’ve spent together in person versus on FaceTime— even before his move to the other side of the world. Thats right, the other side of the world. Anytime I say that to someone they get this skeptical look in their eye, possible rightly so. If I calculated the exact number of hours we’ve spent together I probably wouldn’t have liked that number before his departure, but I definitely wouldn’t like it now. 

See, our long distance is extra special and extra different. We live in completely different regions of the country while being in the states— a one hour time difference and a two hour plane ride. We lived like that through nine months of dating and nine months of being in a relationship. We’re currently living with a fourteen hour time difference and an eighteen hour plane ride. It’s been three months and this style of long distance has no end in sight. I’ll move closer to him during the start of 2020, which is bitter sweet. We’ll have a one hour time difference and a two hour plane ride, which will be almost identical to how we were living in the states. The downside is that I can’t see him for the first four to five months, cutting our possible time together in half. This is because he leaves about five months after that and will be a fourteen hour plane ride away with a six hour time difference. We’ll live like that for a year and eleven months. 

If you’ve done the math that’s 2018 to 2022, separate. Almost five years in total. That makes me sad, like really sad because even though we’ve got almost two years down these next almost three years are going to be hard;  screw that the next three years are going to be damn near impossible if I want to end up with the man that I feel like God works miracles for me to be with. If you read Baecation/Vacation/Anniversary-cation/An excuse to see my man  you know some of our love story and like I said in My Crazy Ass Journey to Korea, my boyfriend’s love language is quality time. In order to give him the love he deserves I’ll jump through hoops and work my magic to spend as much time with him as possible. I’ve done that since 2018, when I was a broke senior in college and I’ll do it these next few years as we navigate our 20s. It sounds crazy on paper and it should sound crazy to me because I’m living it, but it doesn’t. Not in the slightest; because I gotta do what I gotta do to be with the man I love. 

But it’s hard— when the days together are so short and the time apart is so long, it’s hard. Trips to see each other are much needed but sometimes it feels like a buffer of a few extra days have to be added in for us to get used to being in each others spaces again. To get back into the groove of us. To get back in the flow of being a couple. Normal couples have all their love, disagreements, adventures, and lazy days, spread out over the course of time. We have it all crammed into a few days; a few weeks if we’re super lucky. That's hard. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, to have all this love and not enough time to experience it. We have so many dreams and goals. That's one of my favorite things about this relationship— the support. The way we support each other is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. We’d never let the other give up on their dreams, just to start our lives together a little sooner and if we won’t do that well then we have to figure this thing out. I have no idea how this will work out and it blows my mind that we met almost two years ago. It’s worked out thus far through lots of love, hard work, perseverance, communication, God, cheap flights and disposable income.

So yes it is hard, and yes sometimes it feels unfair, and a lot of times it feels like we’re cramming what one couple experiences in a month in just a few days but I’d do it all again —because what’s 3 years in the span of a lifetime?

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