This is a very informal blog post with (probably) a lot of grammatical and punctuation errors but I wanted to capture this "in the moment" feeling. Enjoy.

It's my birth month and almost exactly two months until I leave. I should be 100% focused on packing and saying my goodbyes but one question keeps popping in my head-- how can I leave? No matter your political affiliation, I think we can all agree that our country is going through a transitional phase right now (to say the least) and it feels weird to move to the other side of the world during this time. How can I pack my bags, hop on a plane, and serve my country by serving another country? Who am I to think that I can help someone else if I wasn't even actively helping my own community? That train of thought naturally lead me to pondering colonialism, imperialism and the role I am playing globally. Hold on to your britches because this blog post is about to there.

As a woman, as a Black American, and as a Puerto Rican, I haven't been feeling very patriotic these last few years.  My intersecting identities are making it hard for me to bleed red white and blue; rightfully so. As you know, in a few months I leave for the Peace Corps but what you may not know is that the Peace Corps is a government job. Uncle Sam and I have a tenuous relationship right now; so much so that on September 10th at approximately five something p.m. my boyfriend laughed for six whole minutes and about 17 seconds when he realized that I was going to be a government employee. He's a member of the United States Armed Forces and just swears up and down that I've given him my two cents about working for Uncle Sam over the years. Yet here I am, signing up to to earn a paycheck (I use the term paycheck veryyy loosely) from the very same lovable Tío.

So how can I do it? How can I be the face of the United States overseas when I'm not sure what that even means? I am an American but how do I show someone else that I am a true representation of my country? Am I? I had to think back to the purpose of Peace Corps. Promoting world peace and friendship. Peace Corps doesn't give aid or build anything, rather they collaborate with local organizations, listen to the country's needs, only go where asked and always work to maintain longstanding diplomatic relationships. The Peace Corps has been a leader in international development and citizen diplomacy for more than 50 years across more than 140 countries. The answer why I wanted to serve was clear to me early on--

Peace Corps breeds ethical global citizens and that training, would make me an overall better American.  

As an American I know I come with a set of preconceived notions that are difficult to shed. I had no desire to ever "save" a nation, rather learn and grow from them. I do serve my communities here in the states by engaging in discussion, joining in on community efforts and cultivating the youth. I don't need to write out my resume or justify my actions. I know what I've done, but I also know that I can do more. This feeling of needing to do more is exacerbated because the United States in my home. My land. Where I was born. My ancestors built this country from the ground up. We are a nation of immigrants, indigenous folks and descendants of slaves. My frustrations with my country is in fact rooted in my love for it. The more I thought about about it, the more a warmth washed over me. I can in fact wear the face of what America is overseas because I am what America is. I feel honored to wear the face of what America is abroad, because I am no stranger to our misgivings. There are plenty of people here doing the work and when I come back in two years I'll be a different person with new ideas, new ways to critique and new ways to contribute.  I can't control or change the course that our country takes, I can only hope that I'm given the chance to positively affect it. I have no idea what those 27 months will entail but what I do know is I'm very proud to be an American that can subsequently serve and critique her country. Because of that, I'm able to leave.

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