A letter to my Spring Semester self
January 11, 2021
I had these big plans over break to write a whole bunch and dedicate time to my blog, but as we know, life doesn't always go as planned. I wanted to do a year in review, I wanted to do a post about my first semester, I wanted to do intentions for 2021, I wanted to do a post about the state of the world and use this as a sort of digital diary yet here we are. Even though all my plans essentially went to shit, there was still something that I needed to do more than anything and that was this, a letter to my spring semester self:
Dear Kayla Myelle,
You made it. I mean kind of. You survived. And right now that feels like trash. You made huge sacrifices and pushed yourself to the brink only to simply survive. Its heart breaking and soul crushing because you didn't simply want to survive, you wanted to thrive. Your grades aren't what you wanted and you can make excuses: you didn't take your last final at school, you didn't study with your support system, you locked yourself out of the room for 20 minutes during the exam. However jobs don't care about the reasons why or excuses they just look at that GPA and right now it feels like that GPA is getting you no where. It doesn't feel like it but that's all in the past now.
It's 2021 and although it's already off the a rocky start, the goals and plans are clear. You know how to study, you know when, to study, you know the time effort and dedication you need to instill in order to reap the results you so desperately need. It's key to study with others to get those different view sets, it's imperative to use notability so you can use the voice feature (!), it's a game changer to study earlier and more efficiently using study aids, and you have to do something on your exam that sets you apart from everyone else.
So this is a letter to you. It's okay to be sad and disappointed by the way things turned out but never forget GODS PLAN>YOUR PLAN. In the last few years there as never been a moment that God took a way something/didn't allow you to have something without blessing you beyond what you could have ever imagined. You came to law school to study International Human Rights law and have been sidetracked. The goal of the job and the paycheck became paramount over the mission. If you were to get those grades, you would have started down a path that possibly wasn't for you (corporate law at a global law firm doing the opposite of what was destined for you). Instead, now you must be strategic in your applications and looking towards jobs that align with your soul/spirit. The money will come. You will be okay. The loans will not drown you. You will be able to pay for your life without asking your parents for help.
So here it is. Don't just study hard but study smart, the burn out may come but don't give up, it may make you uncomfortable but keep trying. This semester is yours for the taking and I whole heartedly believe that the grades will be everything you want and more.
Keep praying, you got this♡